Saturday, April 15, 2006
Rishikesh, India
In the street below my balcony a cow is going through some boxes, making a lot of noise.
Rishikesh, India
Having breakfast the fruit salad I ordered is taking ages to arrive. I've already had my coffee and cinnamon roll - would have preferred it if they'd come later, but you never get things in the order that you want them in India. I tell the waiter that if they haven't done the fruit salad yet then I'll forget it because I have to go, but then he shows up with it.
Mangoes always taste like vomit. The rest of the fruits are good though: pineapple, banana, apple and one or two other things.
I like this cafe. Always have breakfast here. It serves real coffee and overlooks the suspension bridge across the Ganges. Monkeys climb over it eating bits of fruit. Probably the mangoes people have chucked down from here.
When I get to the ashram for the morning philosophy of yoga lecture a couple of women are standing outside the classroom. I must be late again. This is the fifth time I've been and I've only been on time once. It's only the chanting and the praying that always happens at the start and which I don't mind missing, which I prefer to miss if I can. Once it's over the three of us go in and Swami launches into a criticism of people walking in late. He asks what he can do to stop it. Someone who showed up on time suggests he shut the door once the class has started.
Lecture notes:
Atman is pure consciousness, like air in a bottle. When the bottle breaks the air inside merges with the ocean of air outside.
The soul splits into two and becomes consciousness and energy. Like milk and butter. I am a dualistic entity and... I've written down other things but I think I'm getting to the point where I'm not making much progress. Either I see some kind of evidence for all this, much of which does seem to make sense and have some consistency about it, or I actually do the yoga and meditation and experience it for myself. But then what if I do, and I spend years doing it and then nothing happens? Not even a glimmer of enlightenment. That'd be a bummer.
Pascal said it was a good bet to believe in God because if He does exist you get into heaven when you die but if He turns out not to exist you haven't lost anything, you're no worse off than the atheists. But if you have to go to church every Sunday and lead a holy life, or sit in the lotus position for 8 hours a day every day, then maybe you have lost something if it all turns out to be for nothing.
Swami talks about his own guru who went to America when he was 27, and then when he was 31 this American businessman came to him and asked to be taught the techniques of kriya yoga. The guru thought: Mm, these Americans are shrewd. I won't give him the techniques straight away, and he sits the American down, puts his hands on the American's head: What do you see?
Nothing.
Okay, he must have too much business stuff in there creating a blockage. I'll have to try something a bit stronger. He places his forehead against the American's forehead. Tell me when you see a star.
Yes! I can see a star!
Now, into that star you can summon the enlightened masters and they will bless you. Can you see the masters?
Yes, I can see them!
Now, what I have shown you is the end result of kriya yoga, but you have only seen this thanks to my powers. To see the star again you will need to practice the kriya yoga techniques yourself.
But the guru still hasn't given him the kriya yoga techniques. The American moves into the ashram, which is somewhere in California (where else? an ashram in Nebraska probably wouldn't do much business), donates 90% of his money to the ashram and keeps 10% for himself and his family. (He's a pretty wealthy guy.) One evening the guru takes him by the hand saying, come on child, let's go for a walk. The American is 48 years old, but he doesn't protest and being referred to in this way. THey walk around the ashram, not speaking. After a while the guru says: When I give you the kriya yoga techniques you will practice them, won't you? Yes, guruji. I will practice them.
Another ten minutes go by. The guru says: When I give you the kriya yoga techniques you will practice them, won't you? Yes, guruji, says the American. I will practice them.
They walk for two hours and every ten minutes the guru says: When I give you the kriya yoga techniques you will practice them, won't you? And the American says: Yes, guruji. I will practice them.
The following evening the guru takes the American by the hand and says: Come, child. Let's go for a walk. When I give you the techniques of kriya yoga you will practice them, won't you? Yes, guruji. I will practice them.
This goes on for the next six months until the American says: Guruji, either you tell me the techniques of kriya yoga now or I will go mad. Or perhaps he threatened to sue the ashram. Whichever, the guru gives him the techniques and he stays at the ashram practising them every day, eight hours a day until, after four years, he sees the star the guru showed him.
I think the moral of this is that things take time, and you have to lose your ego. I'm not sure. I wonder what the American's friends and former business associates thought: "You gave how much money to this guy and all he did was show you a star? Jeez. I could walk down Hollywood Boulevard and see all the stars I want and it wouldn't cost me a cent."
Mangoes always taste like vomit. The rest of the fruits are good though: pineapple, banana, apple and one or two other things.
I like this cafe. Always have breakfast here. It serves real coffee and overlooks the suspension bridge across the Ganges. Monkeys climb over it eating bits of fruit. Probably the mangoes people have chucked down from here.
When I get to the ashram for the morning philosophy of yoga lecture a couple of women are standing outside the classroom. I must be late again. This is the fifth time I've been and I've only been on time once. It's only the chanting and the praying that always happens at the start and which I don't mind missing, which I prefer to miss if I can. Once it's over the three of us go in and Swami launches into a criticism of people walking in late. He asks what he can do to stop it. Someone who showed up on time suggests he shut the door once the class has started.
Lecture notes:
Atman is pure consciousness, like air in a bottle. When the bottle breaks the air inside merges with the ocean of air outside.
The soul splits into two and becomes consciousness and energy. Like milk and butter. I am a dualistic entity and... I've written down other things but I think I'm getting to the point where I'm not making much progress. Either I see some kind of evidence for all this, much of which does seem to make sense and have some consistency about it, or I actually do the yoga and meditation and experience it for myself. But then what if I do, and I spend years doing it and then nothing happens? Not even a glimmer of enlightenment. That'd be a bummer.
Pascal said it was a good bet to believe in God because if He does exist you get into heaven when you die but if He turns out not to exist you haven't lost anything, you're no worse off than the atheists. But if you have to go to church every Sunday and lead a holy life, or sit in the lotus position for 8 hours a day every day, then maybe you have lost something if it all turns out to be for nothing.
Swami talks about his own guru who went to America when he was 27, and then when he was 31 this American businessman came to him and asked to be taught the techniques of kriya yoga. The guru thought: Mm, these Americans are shrewd. I won't give him the techniques straight away, and he sits the American down, puts his hands on the American's head: What do you see?
Nothing.
Okay, he must have too much business stuff in there creating a blockage. I'll have to try something a bit stronger. He places his forehead against the American's forehead. Tell me when you see a star.
Yes! I can see a star!
Now, into that star you can summon the enlightened masters and they will bless you. Can you see the masters?
Yes, I can see them!
Now, what I have shown you is the end result of kriya yoga, but you have only seen this thanks to my powers. To see the star again you will need to practice the kriya yoga techniques yourself.
But the guru still hasn't given him the kriya yoga techniques. The American moves into the ashram, which is somewhere in California (where else? an ashram in Nebraska probably wouldn't do much business), donates 90% of his money to the ashram and keeps 10% for himself and his family. (He's a pretty wealthy guy.) One evening the guru takes him by the hand saying, come on child, let's go for a walk. The American is 48 years old, but he doesn't protest and being referred to in this way. THey walk around the ashram, not speaking. After a while the guru says: When I give you the kriya yoga techniques you will practice them, won't you? Yes, guruji. I will practice them.
Another ten minutes go by. The guru says: When I give you the kriya yoga techniques you will practice them, won't you? Yes, guruji, says the American. I will practice them.
They walk for two hours and every ten minutes the guru says: When I give you the kriya yoga techniques you will practice them, won't you? And the American says: Yes, guruji. I will practice them.
The following evening the guru takes the American by the hand and says: Come, child. Let's go for a walk. When I give you the techniques of kriya yoga you will practice them, won't you? Yes, guruji. I will practice them.
This goes on for the next six months until the American says: Guruji, either you tell me the techniques of kriya yoga now or I will go mad. Or perhaps he threatened to sue the ashram. Whichever, the guru gives him the techniques and he stays at the ashram practising them every day, eight hours a day until, after four years, he sees the star the guru showed him.
I think the moral of this is that things take time, and you have to lose your ego. I'm not sure. I wonder what the American's friends and former business associates thought: "You gave how much money to this guy and all he did was show you a star? Jeez. I could walk down Hollywood Boulevard and see all the stars I want and it wouldn't cost me a cent."
Friday, April 14, 2006
Rishikesh, India
Sitting in the cafe overlooking the pedestrian suspension bridge across the Ganges. An Indian guy in a turban comes in and goes over the the corner table and whistles towards the bridge. He then takes out a mobile phone and looks at it but doesn't make a call. He sits down at the table where a tourist is sitting on his own smoking a cigarette. A short while later the friend he must have been whistling to on the bridge comes in and sits down at the table next to the tourist. There are other empty tables but they choose to sit at this one. In India there appears to be a different conception of personal space to that in the west. Someone sitting at a table doesn't own that table. Another Indian comes and sits in the last vacant seat. The tourist gets up. The guy next to him lets him out. The tourist goes up to the desk to pay. Another Indian comes in and sits down at the table.
On the train to Delhi a few days aga, on which I had reserved a 2nd class sleeper seat, I found several Indians sitting in my seat when I got on the train and had to ask them to move, which they did, retrieving their bags from under the seat. The Indian sitting next to me had to move a few minutes later when someone, another tourist, claimed the seat he was sitting in. The block of six seats was now eentirely occupied by tourists. A Swedish woman made a comment about Indians moving in on other peoples' seats, which one of the guys who had been in my seat overheard. Actually, we're in the Indian Air Force, he said, and we don't have reservations.
That night, when the beds were out, one of the Air Force guys lay newspaper on the floor between our beds and slept there, while another two sat on the edges of the bottom bunks, one occupied by a Japanese woman, the other by a Swedish woman. Neither of them complained, and the Indians didn't ask if they minded. I was relieved I was on an upper bunk.
An Indian on the other side of the carriage who did have a reservation was sharing his seat/bed with some of the other Air Force guys.
They weren't the only ones without reservations. There were quite a few people who were standing between the carriages outside the toilets. They had tickets, just not seat reservations. I assume they paid less than what I paid.
With property here it's often quite hard to see where the boundaries are, to see who owns what. It doesn't seem to matter as much here as it would in the west. People share things more, and use what they need to use. It's more of an anarchic way of life, which sometimes seems good but at other times is quite infuriating, like on the roads where it's the law of the jungle. The buses and trucks rule, then come the cars, then the auto-rickshaws, then the motorbikes and cycle-rickshaws. Pedestrians are right at the bottom. They have no rights. Vehicles will charge at a group of people sounding their horns, expecting the poeple to scatter, which they always do. If they didn't they'd get run over. Sometimes it's taken me five or ten minutes to get across a road. They have things which look a bit like pedestrian crossings but they're just decorative. Cars would never willinglu stop for pedestrians, although once in Kolkata crossing a very big road with about 50 other people trying to get across, the pedestrians were able to hold up the traffic by the weight of their numbers.
Even here in Rishikesh, where there isn't much traffic, what traffic there is terrorizes the pedestrians, even though the vast majority of people here are pedestrians. Each day I've been walking along the 2km road between Laxman Jhula and Swarg Ashram for the lecture, which many many people walk along, often three abreast, women carrying things on their heads, having to walk out into the road to avoid the cows and horses and ice cream sellers and bead sellers and beggars. The road is not very wide, but every five or ten minutes a taxi or a motorbike will speed along sounding it's horn and the people will all have to get out of the way or else get hit. A number of times I've felt the breeze as something misses me by less than an inch. And motorbikes do the same going across the pedestrian suspension bridge. If it weren't for the traffic this place would be quite peaceful. Compared to other places I've been in India it is quite peaceful, but there's always the sound of an engine and a hooter.
On the train to Delhi a few days aga, on which I had reserved a 2nd class sleeper seat, I found several Indians sitting in my seat when I got on the train and had to ask them to move, which they did, retrieving their bags from under the seat. The Indian sitting next to me had to move a few minutes later when someone, another tourist, claimed the seat he was sitting in. The block of six seats was now eentirely occupied by tourists. A Swedish woman made a comment about Indians moving in on other peoples' seats, which one of the guys who had been in my seat overheard. Actually, we're in the Indian Air Force, he said, and we don't have reservations.
That night, when the beds were out, one of the Air Force guys lay newspaper on the floor between our beds and slept there, while another two sat on the edges of the bottom bunks, one occupied by a Japanese woman, the other by a Swedish woman. Neither of them complained, and the Indians didn't ask if they minded. I was relieved I was on an upper bunk.
An Indian on the other side of the carriage who did have a reservation was sharing his seat/bed with some of the other Air Force guys.
They weren't the only ones without reservations. There were quite a few people who were standing between the carriages outside the toilets. They had tickets, just not seat reservations. I assume they paid less than what I paid.
With property here it's often quite hard to see where the boundaries are, to see who owns what. It doesn't seem to matter as much here as it would in the west. People share things more, and use what they need to use. It's more of an anarchic way of life, which sometimes seems good but at other times is quite infuriating, like on the roads where it's the law of the jungle. The buses and trucks rule, then come the cars, then the auto-rickshaws, then the motorbikes and cycle-rickshaws. Pedestrians are right at the bottom. They have no rights. Vehicles will charge at a group of people sounding their horns, expecting the poeple to scatter, which they always do. If they didn't they'd get run over. Sometimes it's taken me five or ten minutes to get across a road. They have things which look a bit like pedestrian crossings but they're just decorative. Cars would never willinglu stop for pedestrians, although once in Kolkata crossing a very big road with about 50 other people trying to get across, the pedestrians were able to hold up the traffic by the weight of their numbers.
Even here in Rishikesh, where there isn't much traffic, what traffic there is terrorizes the pedestrians, even though the vast majority of people here are pedestrians. Each day I've been walking along the 2km road between Laxman Jhula and Swarg Ashram for the lecture, which many many people walk along, often three abreast, women carrying things on their heads, having to walk out into the road to avoid the cows and horses and ice cream sellers and bead sellers and beggars. The road is not very wide, but every five or ten minutes a taxi or a motorbike will speed along sounding it's horn and the people will all have to get out of the way or else get hit. A number of times I've felt the breeze as something misses me by less than an inch. And motorbikes do the same going across the pedestrian suspension bridge. If it weren't for the traffic this place would be quite peaceful. Compared to other places I've been in India it is quite peaceful, but there's always the sound of an engine and a hooter.
Rishikesh, India
More lecture notes coming up. Print them out and memorize them if you want to become enlightened.
Hatha yoga - prana energy
Raja yoga - mental energy
Kundalini/Tantra yoga - primal energy
Hatha yoga, in the west, is mainly for health, to make the body more active, but its higher purpose is to make the body steady, inactive.
Bandhas:
These are techniques that act like a dam. They're used to overcome nature, and are therefore quite dangerous. He says he wouldn't usually go into techniques but a woman sitting behind me had asked him to go into the techniques and had said she wouldn't bother coming to the lectures any more if he didn't. Perhaps she's a yoga teacher. I think some of the people who come to these lectures are. The Chinese woman that he liked, who left yesterday, was a yoga teacher. He said she came for a few days in January and then had gone back to China and returned with her daughter. He talked about how yesterday after the class the mother was holding onto his feet for five minutes. He was saying no, stop, get up but she was kissing his feet and he was looking at the clock: one minute, two minutes... She got her daughter to tell him that whenever she was in the same room as him she saw stars. I think the mother's English was not very good so she's brought her daughter along as a translator. After the mother had finished with the Swami's feet the daughter told him that now she had to do the same, though he said she did it genuinely, not because her mother expected to, and she went on for five minutes. The way he's talking about it I get the impression he thoroughly enjoyed it. They were both very attractive women, the mother about 40 and the daughter about 20.
Jalandhara Bandha - chin lock: sit in the lotus position, inhale, then press your chin into your chest so that you feel the tension in the back of your neck and hold it there until you can't hold the breath any more. This should be followed by its opposite, looking up at the sky, feeling the tension in the front of your neck. This exercise is good physically as it massages the thyroid gland, and spiritually because it stimulates the throat chakra and holds prana energy in the chest, preventing it from escaping out through the eyes as it usually does.
I keep writing down these terms. Chakras and the various types of energy. I don't know what I think about them. At the moment I'm just writing down what he says and will decide later what I think about it all, perhaps after trying some of these exercises. I think the point is you're not meant to intellectualize it all, you're meant to practice it with an open heart. That's why he said he like the Chinese woman so much: she came to him with an open heart.
Uddiyana Bandha - stomach lock: again in the lotus position, exhale forcefully and suck in your stomach, holding it until you can't any more. This strengthens the digestive system (it's particularly good for diabetic people) and spiritually it pushes energy inside, into the suchum nanadi (I don't know what that is - must have missed that lecture) and sucks the lower energies upwards.
Moola Bandha is done on an inhalation. Beginners are told to contract the muscles around the anus and sex organs whereas advanced students contract the centre of the perineum. Aparn energy, the energy used for throwing things out of the body, naturally moves downwards. This exercise brings this energy upwards towards the navel. For this reason the exercise should only be performed when the stomach is clean and empty (have a good dump and bathe in the Ganga beforehand) and should not be done by women when they are menstruating.
Maha Bandha is doing all three of these together. It should be done three to five times each morning and evening. It creates internal heat, cleanses the body and pulls kundalini energy upwards.
He talks about Rama Krishna, whose body got so hot he had to sit in the Ganga for three hours a day, and then he broke out in heat rashes and realized he needed a guru. You can't make any spiritual progress without a guru.
A German guy asks what he should do. We don't have many gurus in Germany.
The problem is not finding a good guru, the problem is finding a good student. If you have to look for a guru you are not ready. When you are ready for a guru the guru will find you. Rama Krishna had five gurus but he never went looking for any of them, they all came to him. He never moved out of his village. This was in Bengal, where Swami says he himself is from and where a number of the masters are from. When Rama Krishna was sitting in the Ganga cooling his heat rashes a woman in a village in what is now Bangladesh had a dream that someone needed a guru and she went to Rama Krishna and became his guru, something that was really not done. He was a Brahmin and she belonged to the Tantric cult, and she was a woman. He was rejected by society.
Even if your guru is an idiot, that's better than not having a guru at all. He tells the story of a guru in a village who is one of these fake babas, I guess like the overdressed one who put a curse on me yesterday when I didn't give him money, and a boy goes to him with a problem and he says master, I feel really bad, you must give me a mantra to help me. The guru looks at the boy and realizes he doesn't have any money so doesn't want to be bothered with him so to get rid of him he says he must say the mantra: Goat, please take this leaf. He must pick 100 leaves and each time he says the mantra he should hold out a leaf. So the boy goes away and picks himself 100 leaves and he says the mantra 100 times a day for the next 6 months until one day he hears a bleating sound and there's a goat, taking each leaf as he holds it out. He runs to the guru and tells the guru the mantra worked, he's now very happy. And he tells the guru what happened. The guru wants to see for himself so the boy gets some leaves and says the mantra but this time the goat doesn't appear. The boy prays: Oh, goat! Why don't you appear when my guru is here? A goat-like voice replies: Tell that idiot guru to go, then I will come.
I think the moral of this story is supposed to be that it doesn't matter too much whether the guru is good or bad, so long as the student has conviction.
Mudras:
1) Tongue lock - touch the roof of your mouth with your tongue
2) Touch your uvula with your tongue - you may need to push it a bit. This is to control the tongue, the most restless sense organ.
3) Put your tongue into the air hole that leads from the top of your mouth up to your nose, but be careful you don't block it (someone in Germany died doing this). You'll need a long tongue to do this one. Some people have a cut made under their tongue so that they can stretch it far enough to do this exercise which, when done properly releases something that tastes sweet, a secretion not yet discovered by medical science, but one which can make the body immortal. He talks about Babaji who is apparently 2500 years old, give or take 1000 years, but has the body of a 25 year old, and tells us all to read his book about this guy. He says he knows many people who are several hundred years old. Mere youngsters.
These masters who have conquered the aging process and who are fully self-sufficient, they have no need of society, they can move through space by astrally projecting the physical body.
Gyana Mudra: The index finger touches the thumb. The index finger represents the ego (never use it to point in India) and the thumb represents the divine, so this gesture represents the ego surrendering to the divine. You sit with both hands in this position - doctors will have to study this to see what is actually going on in the brain when we do this.
Namaste Mudra: Hands in prayer position with thumbs against the chest. This is a mentally receptive position. Namaste means "I bow down to the divine in you." It's the Hindi greeting, the equivalent of hello, or maybe hello, how are you? It's what people have been saying to me ever since I got to Rishikesh, though until a couple of days ago I thought they were saying "have a nice day" and was cursing the fact that these American expressions are getting everywhere, or wondering if maybe they thought I was American. Before here I never noticed anyone saying namaste. In Varanasi it was always hello, you are from which country? And then trying to sell boats or hashish. In Bodhgaya it was pretty similar, but followed by invitations to sponsor schools or students, and in Kolkata, on Sudder Street at least, it was often: "Hello, uncle. Please buy rice, uncle. Please, uncle. I'm hungry. We have no rice."
Hatha yoga - prana energy
Raja yoga - mental energy
Kundalini/Tantra yoga - primal energy
Hatha yoga, in the west, is mainly for health, to make the body more active, but its higher purpose is to make the body steady, inactive.
Bandhas:
These are techniques that act like a dam. They're used to overcome nature, and are therefore quite dangerous. He says he wouldn't usually go into techniques but a woman sitting behind me had asked him to go into the techniques and had said she wouldn't bother coming to the lectures any more if he didn't. Perhaps she's a yoga teacher. I think some of the people who come to these lectures are. The Chinese woman that he liked, who left yesterday, was a yoga teacher. He said she came for a few days in January and then had gone back to China and returned with her daughter. He talked about how yesterday after the class the mother was holding onto his feet for five minutes. He was saying no, stop, get up but she was kissing his feet and he was looking at the clock: one minute, two minutes... She got her daughter to tell him that whenever she was in the same room as him she saw stars. I think the mother's English was not very good so she's brought her daughter along as a translator. After the mother had finished with the Swami's feet the daughter told him that now she had to do the same, though he said she did it genuinely, not because her mother expected to, and she went on for five minutes. The way he's talking about it I get the impression he thoroughly enjoyed it. They were both very attractive women, the mother about 40 and the daughter about 20.
Jalandhara Bandha - chin lock: sit in the lotus position, inhale, then press your chin into your chest so that you feel the tension in the back of your neck and hold it there until you can't hold the breath any more. This should be followed by its opposite, looking up at the sky, feeling the tension in the front of your neck. This exercise is good physically as it massages the thyroid gland, and spiritually because it stimulates the throat chakra and holds prana energy in the chest, preventing it from escaping out through the eyes as it usually does.
I keep writing down these terms. Chakras and the various types of energy. I don't know what I think about them. At the moment I'm just writing down what he says and will decide later what I think about it all, perhaps after trying some of these exercises. I think the point is you're not meant to intellectualize it all, you're meant to practice it with an open heart. That's why he said he like the Chinese woman so much: she came to him with an open heart.
Uddiyana Bandha - stomach lock: again in the lotus position, exhale forcefully and suck in your stomach, holding it until you can't any more. This strengthens the digestive system (it's particularly good for diabetic people) and spiritually it pushes energy inside, into the suchum nanadi (I don't know what that is - must have missed that lecture) and sucks the lower energies upwards.
Moola Bandha is done on an inhalation. Beginners are told to contract the muscles around the anus and sex organs whereas advanced students contract the centre of the perineum. Aparn energy, the energy used for throwing things out of the body, naturally moves downwards. This exercise brings this energy upwards towards the navel. For this reason the exercise should only be performed when the stomach is clean and empty (have a good dump and bathe in the Ganga beforehand) and should not be done by women when they are menstruating.
Maha Bandha is doing all three of these together. It should be done three to five times each morning and evening. It creates internal heat, cleanses the body and pulls kundalini energy upwards.
He talks about Rama Krishna, whose body got so hot he had to sit in the Ganga for three hours a day, and then he broke out in heat rashes and realized he needed a guru. You can't make any spiritual progress without a guru.
A German guy asks what he should do. We don't have many gurus in Germany.
The problem is not finding a good guru, the problem is finding a good student. If you have to look for a guru you are not ready. When you are ready for a guru the guru will find you. Rama Krishna had five gurus but he never went looking for any of them, they all came to him. He never moved out of his village. This was in Bengal, where Swami says he himself is from and where a number of the masters are from. When Rama Krishna was sitting in the Ganga cooling his heat rashes a woman in a village in what is now Bangladesh had a dream that someone needed a guru and she went to Rama Krishna and became his guru, something that was really not done. He was a Brahmin and she belonged to the Tantric cult, and she was a woman. He was rejected by society.
Even if your guru is an idiot, that's better than not having a guru at all. He tells the story of a guru in a village who is one of these fake babas, I guess like the overdressed one who put a curse on me yesterday when I didn't give him money, and a boy goes to him with a problem and he says master, I feel really bad, you must give me a mantra to help me. The guru looks at the boy and realizes he doesn't have any money so doesn't want to be bothered with him so to get rid of him he says he must say the mantra: Goat, please take this leaf. He must pick 100 leaves and each time he says the mantra he should hold out a leaf. So the boy goes away and picks himself 100 leaves and he says the mantra 100 times a day for the next 6 months until one day he hears a bleating sound and there's a goat, taking each leaf as he holds it out. He runs to the guru and tells the guru the mantra worked, he's now very happy. And he tells the guru what happened. The guru wants to see for himself so the boy gets some leaves and says the mantra but this time the goat doesn't appear. The boy prays: Oh, goat! Why don't you appear when my guru is here? A goat-like voice replies: Tell that idiot guru to go, then I will come.
I think the moral of this story is supposed to be that it doesn't matter too much whether the guru is good or bad, so long as the student has conviction.
Mudras:
1) Tongue lock - touch the roof of your mouth with your tongue
2) Touch your uvula with your tongue - you may need to push it a bit. This is to control the tongue, the most restless sense organ.
3) Put your tongue into the air hole that leads from the top of your mouth up to your nose, but be careful you don't block it (someone in Germany died doing this). You'll need a long tongue to do this one. Some people have a cut made under their tongue so that they can stretch it far enough to do this exercise which, when done properly releases something that tastes sweet, a secretion not yet discovered by medical science, but one which can make the body immortal. He talks about Babaji who is apparently 2500 years old, give or take 1000 years, but has the body of a 25 year old, and tells us all to read his book about this guy. He says he knows many people who are several hundred years old. Mere youngsters.
These masters who have conquered the aging process and who are fully self-sufficient, they have no need of society, they can move through space by astrally projecting the physical body.
Gyana Mudra: The index finger touches the thumb. The index finger represents the ego (never use it to point in India) and the thumb represents the divine, so this gesture represents the ego surrendering to the divine. You sit with both hands in this position - doctors will have to study this to see what is actually going on in the brain when we do this.
Namaste Mudra: Hands in prayer position with thumbs against the chest. This is a mentally receptive position. Namaste means "I bow down to the divine in you." It's the Hindi greeting, the equivalent of hello, or maybe hello, how are you? It's what people have been saying to me ever since I got to Rishikesh, though until a couple of days ago I thought they were saying "have a nice day" and was cursing the fact that these American expressions are getting everywhere, or wondering if maybe they thought I was American. Before here I never noticed anyone saying namaste. In Varanasi it was always hello, you are from which country? And then trying to sell boats or hashish. In Bodhgaya it was pretty similar, but followed by invitations to sponsor schools or students, and in Kolkata, on Sudder Street at least, it was often: "Hello, uncle. Please buy rice, uncle. Please, uncle. I'm hungry. We have no rice."
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Rishikesh, India
The Japanese woman sitting in front of me in the lotus position wears a Tintin in Tibet t-shirt. I arrived early to the lecture this morning so got myself a cushion to sit on.
But as soon as I'd made myself comfortable we had to stand as Swami's wife came in. Today is her birthday. She comes in with a younger woman - their daughter? I wasn't sure she was his wife at first, since he was calling her by her name, Mutterjee I think, but seeing her she looks the same as the woman in the photo, though a few years older, which I'm sure he said yesterday was his wife. The photo now has a garland of purple flowers around it. She sits on a throne of cushions in front of her photo and then we're all allowed to sit.
Swami, or the Swami (I'm not sure if Swami is a name or a title), tells his wife's life story as she sits serenely, smiling occasionally. She was special from the start, firstly because she was born on an auspicious day. Today is a full moon and it's the first day of our new year. And then she was born the wrong way round, feet first, which in Indian culture is very auspicious. Astrologers came to the village where she was born and told her parents that she was a special child and she would bring them wealth, which she did. Right after she was born their fortunes changed and they never wanted for money again.
When she was older and they tried to send her to school she kept running away from school and going to the ashram. She just wanted to meditate, and then she want around giving lectures and became very well known. When her parents tried to get her married she kept running away. Three times she ran away from the wedding, when the husband was there, all the guests were there, she just ran away.
I think that's when she came to the ashram in Rishikesh and where he met her. He said around that time, when she was in her mid-twenties, she suffered a stroke or brain tumour and was in hospital for six months, and after that she lost some of her memory. He said he's asked her many times if she has any sense of frustration, that she was on this upward path, making a name for herself, and then it all came to an end, and she's always said no, whatever God wants for her that's what she accepts.
He goes on for some time about the purity of her soul, the fact that he has never seen her in a bad mood, that she's always smiling. And there are a number of rituals with flowers, waving a candle around, and then eating some kind of cake that she has made. A few people have brought garlands of flowers and they put them around her neck. She seems slightly embarrassed, but keeps smiling. The Swami has his favourite Chinese student taking photos of it all, and someone else is taking photos.
As it's new year he goes around the room with some red paint, putting a mark on everyone's forehead. As he does so we're supposed to close our eyes and make a new years resolution.
This all takes about an hour. His wife and possible daughter (there is a likeness to her mother, if that's who she is) leave and the lecture proper starts, with only about half an hour of the allotted time remaining. (Perhaps I should only donate 25 Rupees today, but the cake was good.) I wrote notes again, but now reading through them they don't make much sense:
Most of the new age books, they don't know. I know the answers given in the books but they don't satisfy me. When I get a bit more enlightened I will answer. (I didn't write down what the question was.)
Kundalini energy is the primal energy. It is in the shape of a coil. Serpent power. The coil is in the astral body so can't be seen physically.
Our personality is bipolar. Pure consciousness is masculine, pure energy is feminine. Duality: I am different from everything. Kundalini comes up and there's unity: I am everything: I am.
Kundalini yoga cannot be appreciated intellectually. Latent energy some day will rise. I am using 10% of my brain according to medical science. Sooner or later we will all get enlightened, by evolution, but only after a million years.
In our final 100 lives we have a genuine belief in God. Not a belief in a Christian God. That's child's play - no offence to anyone.
A little LSD can bring up some kundalini energy, can give that experience.
Rishikesh is where people come when they are ready for enlightenment. It is the Agnea chakra of the Indian land mass. The Ganga coming down from the Himalaya. There are places where the physical and the astral dimensions come together.
Someone said that the yogic powers look like science fiction. Yes, it is science fiction, but what was science fiction in the 19th Century is science fact now.
He tells the story of a Russion (I think) spiritual seeker called Madame Lavinsky who come to India and went everywhere with her body guard, Colonel Torry. Up in the mountains somewhere she said to him I want to go into that ashram. What ashram? There's nothing for five miles around. This ashram here, she said, and she disappeared and then reappeared a while later wearing a garland of flowers. It was an astral ashram, which is why the Colonel couldn't see it.
Where material science ends spiritual science begins. Where physics ends meta-physics begins.
But as soon as I'd made myself comfortable we had to stand as Swami's wife came in. Today is her birthday. She comes in with a younger woman - their daughter? I wasn't sure she was his wife at first, since he was calling her by her name, Mutterjee I think, but seeing her she looks the same as the woman in the photo, though a few years older, which I'm sure he said yesterday was his wife. The photo now has a garland of purple flowers around it. She sits on a throne of cushions in front of her photo and then we're all allowed to sit.
Swami, or the Swami (I'm not sure if Swami is a name or a title), tells his wife's life story as she sits serenely, smiling occasionally. She was special from the start, firstly because she was born on an auspicious day. Today is a full moon and it's the first day of our new year. And then she was born the wrong way round, feet first, which in Indian culture is very auspicious. Astrologers came to the village where she was born and told her parents that she was a special child and she would bring them wealth, which she did. Right after she was born their fortunes changed and they never wanted for money again.
When she was older and they tried to send her to school she kept running away from school and going to the ashram. She just wanted to meditate, and then she want around giving lectures and became very well known. When her parents tried to get her married she kept running away. Three times she ran away from the wedding, when the husband was there, all the guests were there, she just ran away.
I think that's when she came to the ashram in Rishikesh and where he met her. He said around that time, when she was in her mid-twenties, she suffered a stroke or brain tumour and was in hospital for six months, and after that she lost some of her memory. He said he's asked her many times if she has any sense of frustration, that she was on this upward path, making a name for herself, and then it all came to an end, and she's always said no, whatever God wants for her that's what she accepts.
He goes on for some time about the purity of her soul, the fact that he has never seen her in a bad mood, that she's always smiling. And there are a number of rituals with flowers, waving a candle around, and then eating some kind of cake that she has made. A few people have brought garlands of flowers and they put them around her neck. She seems slightly embarrassed, but keeps smiling. The Swami has his favourite Chinese student taking photos of it all, and someone else is taking photos.
As it's new year he goes around the room with some red paint, putting a mark on everyone's forehead. As he does so we're supposed to close our eyes and make a new years resolution.
This all takes about an hour. His wife and possible daughter (there is a likeness to her mother, if that's who she is) leave and the lecture proper starts, with only about half an hour of the allotted time remaining. (Perhaps I should only donate 25 Rupees today, but the cake was good.) I wrote notes again, but now reading through them they don't make much sense:
Most of the new age books, they don't know. I know the answers given in the books but they don't satisfy me. When I get a bit more enlightened I will answer. (I didn't write down what the question was.)
Kundalini energy is the primal energy. It is in the shape of a coil. Serpent power. The coil is in the astral body so can't be seen physically.
Our personality is bipolar. Pure consciousness is masculine, pure energy is feminine. Duality: I am different from everything. Kundalini comes up and there's unity: I am everything: I am.
Kundalini yoga cannot be appreciated intellectually. Latent energy some day will rise. I am using 10% of my brain according to medical science. Sooner or later we will all get enlightened, by evolution, but only after a million years.
In our final 100 lives we have a genuine belief in God. Not a belief in a Christian God. That's child's play - no offence to anyone.
A little LSD can bring up some kundalini energy, can give that experience.
Rishikesh is where people come when they are ready for enlightenment. It is the Agnea chakra of the Indian land mass. The Ganga coming down from the Himalaya. There are places where the physical and the astral dimensions come together.
Someone said that the yogic powers look like science fiction. Yes, it is science fiction, but what was science fiction in the 19th Century is science fact now.
He tells the story of a Russion (I think) spiritual seeker called Madame Lavinsky who come to India and went everywhere with her body guard, Colonel Torry. Up in the mountains somewhere she said to him I want to go into that ashram. What ashram? There's nothing for five miles around. This ashram here, she said, and she disappeared and then reappeared a while later wearing a garland of flowers. It was an astral ashram, which is why the Colonel couldn't see it.
Where material science ends spiritual science begins. Where physics ends meta-physics begins.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Rishikesh, India
Got up late, but just in time to get to the yoga lecture with the Swami. This time I took my notebook and wrote notes:
Soak mangos overnight to get rid of the chemicals that are often used to ripen them.
Tratak: Fix eyeballs on one point. Don't blink. (At the Mahabodi temple in Bodhgaya where the Buddha became enlightened there was a sign saying that at this point the Buddha sat for two weeks in meditation without winking. I think they meant to say without blinking.) Stop restlessness of the mind. Not stop, steady. Use a candle in front of the eyes. Don't use an Indian candle because it smokes and flickers, and if you're staying in the ashram don't drop wax on the floor or on your bedclothes.
One minute strong gaze at where the flame joins the wick, the brightest point, then two minutes with your eyes closed meditating on the afterimage.
Concentration. Trance-like state. Do for about ten minutes.
Monks wear wooden sandals to slow them down. He gets someone to take down a picture of one of the masters who is wearing wooden sandals. Since I'm teaching westerners I always say slow down in everything because western culture is a very fast culture. But if you're teaching Indians don't tell them to slow down because they will fall asleep.
Mantra chanting is one of the best techniques of concentrating the mind. Aum nama shivaya = I bow down to my higher self. Repetition leads to humility, ego reduction, tendency to obey. The you are in spiritual growth the worse the punishment if you don't obey. Very bad karma. Obey your inner self. Reduce negative thought patterns.
Beads. He has string of beads and shows how to hold them not using the index finger because that is the ego finger. 1 mala = 108 chants, one loop of the beads. After each chant you move onto the next bead. (How do you remember which bead you started at?)
16 malas a day for a brahmin. Less for the lower casts. 12, 8, or 4 if you're a member of the labouring caste.
Devotional meditation: Concentrate on a guru or deity.
Why does Krishna play the flute? It symbolizes the spinal chord. The holes symbolize the seven chakras.
Vedanta meditation is the highest technique, used by the Buddhists who did away with the other forms of meditation. Don't do anything with the mind. Just observe. Become aware that you are not the body-mind, you are much vaster. Your body-mind is like the horse and you are the rider.
Tantra: sex. Arouse yourself 80 percent but don't go for orgasm. Orgasm is death. You'll get a higher orgasm. There are 400 million sperm in each ejaculation. Each sperm has the same energy as one 6 foot tall man working 18 hours a day (that can't be right). But if it does come out lick it back. It is the best perfume for the face.
Samadhi: Concentrate very deeply on one thing. Lose awareness of time. Like sleep, but conscious. Observe what is inside. Eyes half open and half closed. Darkness above, light below. Focus on the join.
Samadhi is a super-conscious experience. What is this? What is a conscious experience? Sense experience. Senses are limited. The data is limited. What is a sub-conscious experience? Astral body senses. Dreaming is the activity of the astral body. Psychology doesn't know this yet but they will as they do meditation. Super-conscious experience: the mind is directly experiencing, without the sense organs.
Study of deeper levels of the mind. Perception through the third eye. Method to transcend mind.
A German guy who has asked some questions drinks from his bottle of water the Indian way, without letting the bottle touch his lips. The Swami takes a drink the western way.
There's a woman with bandages around her head coming loose. She must be the one he talked about a couple of days ago who got beaten up the night before by some Indian boys.
Onto the next board, headed Yogic powers.
Anima: power to condense the body or matter down to the size of an atom. Science now accepts this - black holes.
Mahima: the power to make the body bigger. Krishna did this.
Garima: make the body heavy.
Laghima: make the body light.
Prapti: ability of the mind to bring an object from a distance. This has higher and lower forms. The lower form is to command astral entities to go and get the object for you. This is not good. It is often used to impress people, but is never used by true masters. The higher form is to bring the object directly with the mind. This is good.
Prakamia: ability to fulfill all desires instantaneously. Jesus stopped a storm and turned wine into water.
Ishitua: mastery over the laws of nature. Western science has mastered the law of gravity with the aeroplane.
Vashitua: total control over someone's mind. This is a very dangerous power. I can go into a forest and chant a mantra for 21 days and include a lady's name in the mantra and she will fall in love with the guru, she will be blind to his faults, and it is only many years later that she will realize she was manipulated.
The lecture ends with prayer and mantra. People close their eyes. I focus on the ripped sleeve of the woman in front of me, a semi-circular mound of flesh below her armpit bulging out.
Please pay for the week if you are staying for the week. He says tomorrow he'll bring in someone, one of the ashram workers I think, whose birthday it is and we can bring a present if we want.
Outside the classroom is his book of poetry. He looks much younger in the picture on the book. No grey in his beard yet.
Soak mangos overnight to get rid of the chemicals that are often used to ripen them.
Tratak: Fix eyeballs on one point. Don't blink. (At the Mahabodi temple in Bodhgaya where the Buddha became enlightened there was a sign saying that at this point the Buddha sat for two weeks in meditation without winking. I think they meant to say without blinking.) Stop restlessness of the mind. Not stop, steady. Use a candle in front of the eyes. Don't use an Indian candle because it smokes and flickers, and if you're staying in the ashram don't drop wax on the floor or on your bedclothes.
One minute strong gaze at where the flame joins the wick, the brightest point, then two minutes with your eyes closed meditating on the afterimage.
Concentration. Trance-like state. Do for about ten minutes.
Monks wear wooden sandals to slow them down. He gets someone to take down a picture of one of the masters who is wearing wooden sandals. Since I'm teaching westerners I always say slow down in everything because western culture is a very fast culture. But if you're teaching Indians don't tell them to slow down because they will fall asleep.
Mantra chanting is one of the best techniques of concentrating the mind. Aum nama shivaya = I bow down to my higher self. Repetition leads to humility, ego reduction, tendency to obey. The you are in spiritual growth the worse the punishment if you don't obey. Very bad karma. Obey your inner self. Reduce negative thought patterns.
Beads. He has string of beads and shows how to hold them not using the index finger because that is the ego finger. 1 mala = 108 chants, one loop of the beads. After each chant you move onto the next bead. (How do you remember which bead you started at?)
16 malas a day for a brahmin. Less for the lower casts. 12, 8, or 4 if you're a member of the labouring caste.
Devotional meditation: Concentrate on a guru or deity.
Why does Krishna play the flute? It symbolizes the spinal chord. The holes symbolize the seven chakras.
Vedanta meditation is the highest technique, used by the Buddhists who did away with the other forms of meditation. Don't do anything with the mind. Just observe. Become aware that you are not the body-mind, you are much vaster. Your body-mind is like the horse and you are the rider.
Tantra: sex. Arouse yourself 80 percent but don't go for orgasm. Orgasm is death. You'll get a higher orgasm. There are 400 million sperm in each ejaculation. Each sperm has the same energy as one 6 foot tall man working 18 hours a day (that can't be right). But if it does come out lick it back. It is the best perfume for the face.
Samadhi: Concentrate very deeply on one thing. Lose awareness of time. Like sleep, but conscious. Observe what is inside. Eyes half open and half closed. Darkness above, light below. Focus on the join.
Samadhi is a super-conscious experience. What is this? What is a conscious experience? Sense experience. Senses are limited. The data is limited. What is a sub-conscious experience? Astral body senses. Dreaming is the activity of the astral body. Psychology doesn't know this yet but they will as they do meditation. Super-conscious experience: the mind is directly experiencing, without the sense organs.
Study of deeper levels of the mind. Perception through the third eye. Method to transcend mind.
A German guy who has asked some questions drinks from his bottle of water the Indian way, without letting the bottle touch his lips. The Swami takes a drink the western way.
There's a woman with bandages around her head coming loose. She must be the one he talked about a couple of days ago who got beaten up the night before by some Indian boys.
Onto the next board, headed Yogic powers.
Anima: power to condense the body or matter down to the size of an atom. Science now accepts this - black holes.
Mahima: the power to make the body bigger. Krishna did this.
Garima: make the body heavy.
Laghima: make the body light.
Prapti: ability of the mind to bring an object from a distance. This has higher and lower forms. The lower form is to command astral entities to go and get the object for you. This is not good. It is often used to impress people, but is never used by true masters. The higher form is to bring the object directly with the mind. This is good.
Prakamia: ability to fulfill all desires instantaneously. Jesus stopped a storm and turned wine into water.
Ishitua: mastery over the laws of nature. Western science has mastered the law of gravity with the aeroplane.
Vashitua: total control over someone's mind. This is a very dangerous power. I can go into a forest and chant a mantra for 21 days and include a lady's name in the mantra and she will fall in love with the guru, she will be blind to his faults, and it is only many years later that she will realize she was manipulated.
The lecture ends with prayer and mantra. People close their eyes. I focus on the ripped sleeve of the woman in front of me, a semi-circular mound of flesh below her armpit bulging out.
Please pay for the week if you are staying for the week. He says tomorrow he'll bring in someone, one of the ashram workers I think, whose birthday it is and we can bring a present if we want.
Outside the classroom is his book of poetry. He looks much younger in the picture on the book. No grey in his beard yet.
Rishikesh, India
The other morning when my alarm clock went off I kept turning it offf but it wouldn't stop bleeping. For a while I couldn't work out why, but then I realized I was turning it off in my dream but it was ringing in my reality.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Rishikesh, India
Sometimes ceiling fans look like they're in danger of falling of the ceiling.
The yoga didn't happen. I was the only one who showed up and the woman who offered to teach it has been ill so she's rescheduled for 7am Sunday morning.
The yoga didn't happen. I was the only one who showed up and the woman who offered to teach it has been ill so she's rescheduled for 7am Sunday morning.
Rishikesh, India
Sitting in a cafe this morning with one of the two American women I met on the flight from Bangkok I got chatting to an Australian woman here with her mother, who was from Darlington and still has an English accent though I guess she's been in Australia for some time. The daughter is a yoga teacher and she offered to give us a yoga lesson this afternoon, but the American women have gone now and I'm wondering whether to go along on me own. I told her I'd never done yoga before and so was worried about the embarrassment, but she said she'd make it gentle so maybe I'll give it a try. This is the yoga capital of the world so I feel like I should.
I've moved into the room the American women vacated, which is much nicer than the one I moved out of. I now have not jsut a window but a balcony as well, overlooking the footbridge over the Ganges, which I'm nervous of walking across. Everything I've bought in India has fallen to bits - a pair of trousers and a bag - so not too confident about the bridge.
It's now a quarter to five. I'm going to change into something more yogalike and go down to the bridge to meet the teacher. Maybe she won't show. At least then I'll be able to say that I made the effort to do yoga but it just wasn't meant to be.
I've moved into the room the American women vacated, which is much nicer than the one I moved out of. I now have not jsut a window but a balcony as well, overlooking the footbridge over the Ganges, which I'm nervous of walking across. Everything I've bought in India has fallen to bits - a pair of trousers and a bag - so not too confident about the bridge.
It's now a quarter to five. I'm going to change into something more yogalike and go down to the bridge to meet the teacher. Maybe she won't show. At least then I'll be able to say that I made the effort to do yoga but it just wasn't meant to be.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Rishikesh, India
I went to an ashram down the road from where I'm staying to see if they had any rooms. The room I'm in has no window and is a bit expensive. 200 Rupees a night. 300 for a room with a window. They said come back in the evening. Walking out of the place I passed a couple of women. One of them said I know you. It was Maya, one of the two American women I met on the flight from Bangkok to Calcutta. She was going to a lecture so I tagged along. We went to a room which was room of people kneeling with hands in prayer gesture, chanting. The was no room to enter so we stood outside, but later, when the chanting had stopped Maya went in and the rest of us followed. People made room.
The lecture was given by a guru type guy with a long beard. He looked like you'd imagine an Indian guru to look. It seems this class has been running for about three weeks now. He knew the names of some of the students, and asked them how long they were planning on staying in Rishikesh. Then he gave out some notices, a bit like school assembly. The police have said that it's not safe to bathe where some foreigners have been seen bathing, so please don't bathe there. There ashram takes no responsibility for what might happen. Also, when bathing in the Ganga it shouldn't become a picnic. You shouldn't bathe in large groups. Please don't let this place become like Goa. Some monks have been upset by the behaviour of certain tourists and this place for thousands of years has been a place of spirituality and if there's just one monk here and he is upset by the behaviour of tourists then that monk's concerns must be respected.
He went on like this for a while, and though it wasn't part of the lecture proper it was quite interesting. He criticized yogis at other ashrams for not being strict enough with their students, not having the guts to criticize them when they associate with chillum smoking babas, because all they want is the tourists' money. I'm not like that, he said. The chillum smoking babas are not bad people, but what they are doing to themselves is self-destructive and you shouldn't associate with them, and if I catch one person smoking or drinking in this ashram they won't last two hours. Not even an hour.
I think I'm better off staying in a hotel rather than here, just in case I have some self-destructive urges.
He then went onto the lecture proper, using headings written on a board. This apparently is the third week of the course, but they way he was talking he seemed to be riffing, going from one subject to another, telling various stories and anecdotes:
The one about the very good looking former guru who when he was 18 a very beautiful and rich English woman, probably a daughter of one of the raj officers, knocked on his door and he rather than speaking to her as a young man to a young woman he addressed her as he would a lady of his mother's generation:n Yes, madam. What can I do for you? With that she went away, but he was still conscious of the fact that he had felt certain unspiritual things going on below his waist so he prepared some hot coals and sat on them. After that he felt pain every time he went to the toilet, but this helped him overcome his desire for women.
The thing about this class is that there are many attractive women in it, and just a few men. I have heard that such places can function a bit like dating agencies. During the day people are lectured to about the spiritual benefits of celibacy, then in the evening they go and test out their resolve, like Gandhi did. At the age of 37 he told his wife he was now going to be celibate, that they would from now on live as brother and sister, but then at the age of 66 he decided to test himself and he slept with two young ladies. He then had to admit that he had not conquered his sexual desires, which is why Gandhi will never be considered divine, why he won't have temples erected in his name. Brothels maybe, but not temples.
And then there was the story of the baba who lived in a cave up in the mountains and was visited by an English woman. She came out of his cave having had a good talk with him, and she says to him: I notice there is no one for miles around. Don't you ever get lonely? To which he replies: Now that you're here, madam, I feel lonely, but when you go I won't feel lonely any more. I'm not sure how she responds to this, but she then tells him that if he ever comes to England he should get in touch with her and she'll show him around London, to which he says: I am London. You can't show me London, madam, because London is me. Probably if someone speaking like this ever did come to London they would be locked up in some institution, but in India they're gurus.
Things are different here. He talks about chakras and prana energy, things that I've heard new agey types talking about before and it's always made me cringe, but hearing it from this guy it doesn't sound so cringeable, there seems to be more sense to it. Perhaps I'm just being taken in by the long greying beard and orange dress.
Though many people were sitting there taking notes to me it didn't seem like that kind of course where there'd be an exam at the end of it.
Swami Darminanda is the teacher's name. He's written a book of poetry, which he suggested we read. On the wall around the classroom on the classroom were pictures of various gurus. The only ones I recognized were Jesus and Gandhi. And Buddha. On the table next to him was a photograph of a woman. This was his wife. I don't know if she still is. He spoke about her a bit. When he left her she told him that he'd come back to her, she'd make sure that he did. And he did. The god Shiva sent him back to her. I'm not quite sure how that happened.
In the afternoon I tried to get on the internet but failed so went for a shave in a barbers. On the wall in front of me was a poster with pictures showing all the services offered, captions under each: head massage, hair cut, body massage, face massage, face mask, bear trimming - this one was below a picture of a very hairy man. I started to laugh, which is not good while you're being shaven or shaved. The barber started to laugh as well.
The lecture was given by a guru type guy with a long beard. He looked like you'd imagine an Indian guru to look. It seems this class has been running for about three weeks now. He knew the names of some of the students, and asked them how long they were planning on staying in Rishikesh. Then he gave out some notices, a bit like school assembly. The police have said that it's not safe to bathe where some foreigners have been seen bathing, so please don't bathe there. There ashram takes no responsibility for what might happen. Also, when bathing in the Ganga it shouldn't become a picnic. You shouldn't bathe in large groups. Please don't let this place become like Goa. Some monks have been upset by the behaviour of certain tourists and this place for thousands of years has been a place of spirituality and if there's just one monk here and he is upset by the behaviour of tourists then that monk's concerns must be respected.
He went on like this for a while, and though it wasn't part of the lecture proper it was quite interesting. He criticized yogis at other ashrams for not being strict enough with their students, not having the guts to criticize them when they associate with chillum smoking babas, because all they want is the tourists' money. I'm not like that, he said. The chillum smoking babas are not bad people, but what they are doing to themselves is self-destructive and you shouldn't associate with them, and if I catch one person smoking or drinking in this ashram they won't last two hours. Not even an hour.
I think I'm better off staying in a hotel rather than here, just in case I have some self-destructive urges.
He then went onto the lecture proper, using headings written on a board. This apparently is the third week of the course, but they way he was talking he seemed to be riffing, going from one subject to another, telling various stories and anecdotes:
The one about the very good looking former guru who when he was 18 a very beautiful and rich English woman, probably a daughter of one of the raj officers, knocked on his door and he rather than speaking to her as a young man to a young woman he addressed her as he would a lady of his mother's generation:n Yes, madam. What can I do for you? With that she went away, but he was still conscious of the fact that he had felt certain unspiritual things going on below his waist so he prepared some hot coals and sat on them. After that he felt pain every time he went to the toilet, but this helped him overcome his desire for women.
The thing about this class is that there are many attractive women in it, and just a few men. I have heard that such places can function a bit like dating agencies. During the day people are lectured to about the spiritual benefits of celibacy, then in the evening they go and test out their resolve, like Gandhi did. At the age of 37 he told his wife he was now going to be celibate, that they would from now on live as brother and sister, but then at the age of 66 he decided to test himself and he slept with two young ladies. He then had to admit that he had not conquered his sexual desires, which is why Gandhi will never be considered divine, why he won't have temples erected in his name. Brothels maybe, but not temples.
And then there was the story of the baba who lived in a cave up in the mountains and was visited by an English woman. She came out of his cave having had a good talk with him, and she says to him: I notice there is no one for miles around. Don't you ever get lonely? To which he replies: Now that you're here, madam, I feel lonely, but when you go I won't feel lonely any more. I'm not sure how she responds to this, but she then tells him that if he ever comes to England he should get in touch with her and she'll show him around London, to which he says: I am London. You can't show me London, madam, because London is me. Probably if someone speaking like this ever did come to London they would be locked up in some institution, but in India they're gurus.
Things are different here. He talks about chakras and prana energy, things that I've heard new agey types talking about before and it's always made me cringe, but hearing it from this guy it doesn't sound so cringeable, there seems to be more sense to it. Perhaps I'm just being taken in by the long greying beard and orange dress.
Though many people were sitting there taking notes to me it didn't seem like that kind of course where there'd be an exam at the end of it.
Swami Darminanda is the teacher's name. He's written a book of poetry, which he suggested we read. On the wall around the classroom on the classroom were pictures of various gurus. The only ones I recognized were Jesus and Gandhi. And Buddha. On the table next to him was a photograph of a woman. This was his wife. I don't know if she still is. He spoke about her a bit. When he left her she told him that he'd come back to her, she'd make sure that he did. And he did. The god Shiva sent him back to her. I'm not quite sure how that happened.
In the afternoon I tried to get on the internet but failed so went for a shave in a barbers. On the wall in front of me was a poster with pictures showing all the services offered, captions under each: head massage, hair cut, body massage, face massage, face mask, bear trimming - this one was below a picture of a very hairy man. I started to laugh, which is not good while you're being shaven or shaved. The barber started to laugh as well.
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